Every Friday for 5 minutes the blogging community writes on a subject.
We set a timer and just write whatever comes to mind. We don’t worry about grammar, punctuation and whether is looks right or not. We just write because it’s what we love to do.
5 minutes. No proof-reading. No going back to edit. Just write. Todays subject is Identity.
I had an idea of what being a mother would be like way before it actually happened. I often sat back and imagined the different things that being mother would include, what changes it would bring to my day to day life, which of my friends would end up dropping off the face of the earth and which ones would end up coming into the forefront.
Now I face the reality of it and the changes are so much more than I had even imagined. Some of the friends I thought wouldn’t disappear did, and others that I thought would leave took a hold of our friendship with both hands and hung on tightly. The changes to my day to day life are much more extensive than I originally thought. The chores that I imagined myself doing I am, but I’ve also found myself doing things that I probably purposely didn’t imagine myself doing.
But the biggest things that have changed have nothing to do with all the outside pieces of my life, but have everything to do with my inner spaces. They have everything to do with the way I identify myself. I never imagined how deep I could feel for this little being. I knew I would love her. But I didn’t know that I would LOVE her. I knew that I would adore her and care for her, but I didn’t know that I would worship her every laugh, smile and sound. I knew that I would nurture her, but I didn’t know that I would read the same book to her over and over to the extent that I can recite it without even opening the book now. I knew that I would get up in the middle of the night for her, but I didn’t know that a part of me would hope for it just a little bit.
I knew that she would change me. I just didn’t know how much for the better she would.